ARCHIVED REVIEWS:
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WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

Have you ever read a fanfic that was popular and yet really bad? Did you make fun of it with your friends, complain about it in chat, but not dare to say anything about it in public because pissy authors and their friends will send you spam and flames instead of admitting their work isn't perfect? Well, we're not putting up with that anymore.

This is a fanfiction review site. It's different from other sites because we're reviewing fic for the readers, and not for the authors. We are not here to give authors compliments or constructive criticism. We're tired of being flamed or accused of being bitches when we try to tell someone their work has problems without giving them five pages of compliments first. So screw the writers. This page is for readers; think of it like a book or movie review page. We're just going to say what we honestly think of fics. And you know what we think? Fanfic writers are often attention-seeking crybabies who can't write, and they need a slap to the fuckin' head.

You have questions? See the FAQ or the dictionary.

If you have more questions, fic suggestions, or if you want to insult/ flame/congratulate us, you can contact us here. Or sign/read our gbook.

Do we not update frequently enough for you? Take a look at some of these other ficbitcheries:
+ The Bitchcave, another reviewing site with a mainly IniD focus
+ The Mary Sue Report, finding and dismantling Mary Sues for your enjoyment.

WHO THE HELL ARE WE?

Just a group of fangirls who have a duty. Our ranks grow in number daily! In order to help you figure out why we might have given a fic the review we did, or to assist you in properly flaming/debating with one of us, here are our pseudonyms and bios. (Note: we do not review our own writing; it's too hard to be objective. However, we may review each other's writing.)

REBEL TOY
Hates bad grammar, angst, and bad love stories. Loves WAFF, humor, and smut.
#1 Fanfic Peeve: men/boys written to act like teenaged girls.
LEATHER DADDY
I'm always finding the worst fics and purposely inflicting them on myself... and others.
#1 Fanfic Peeve: Soulbonds through sex, especially anal sex. Spare me, please. People don't keep their souls where the sun don't shine.
MIDNIGHT MUTATION
Hates seeing overdone cliches, characters that aren't in-character, and plot holes large enough to stuff the author's entire high school class in.
#1 Fanfic Peeve: Fic writers that ignore the established canon without a damn good reason to.
PINK FREAK
Likes fun smut (and non-smut too) that keeps people in character. Hates many things including crying, JP in English fics, and the overemphasis of virginity.
#1 Fanfic Peeve: after much consideration, probably the usage of Japanese in a fic that is not a JP fic.
VICIOUS BABY
Hates crybabies, the inability to use a spellchecker, Mary-Sue characters, and random, unexplained out-of-character behavior. Loves smut (PWP if it's handled right,) cheeze, original fics, satire fics, and comedies.
#1 Fanfic Peeve: Mary-Sue characters
FERAL CHEEKS
Hates out-of-character being passed off as in-character, glaring cultural anachronisms, authors making comments inside their own stories.
#1 Fanfic Peeve: Overwrought descriptions (my, those melting chocolate eyes sound... tasty, I guess)
GILDED FANTASY
Hates complete irreverance for canon and plausibility, out of canon relationships/ romance, angst. Likes well-written serious vingettes, parody and comedy.
#1 Fanfic Peeve: Gundam Wing Yaoi (subject to change)
PURPLE OUTCAST
Hates out of character fics, self insertion/mary-sue fics, lack of character development and plot. Likes: When fic writers use logic.
#1 Fanfic Peeve: Those perfect mary-sue characters, my... they're so perfect why angst?
ELECTRIC DESIRE
Hates mpreg, OOC, fanon, etc. Likes in-character fic, and proper use of grammar, spell-check, and hopefully at least one beta-reader.
#1 Fanfic Peeve: Fanon fic. Series/game? What series/game? That only impairs my fic...
VELVET VENUS
Hates male characters turned into teenage girls, implausible relationships with no justification, OOC, stories that skimp on plot just to get to the smut. Likes parody, UST and smut. XD
#1 Fanfic Peeve: You are the uke, therefore your lose all character traits and turn into a crying little virgin.
LUNAR LOVE
Likes: intelligent smut, intelligent comedy, intelligent grammar and spelling choices, intelligence in general. Hates: ...well, everything else. Including you and your fic. Go away.
#1 Fanfic Peeve: Any fanfic that has obviously not been spellchecked. Respect your own damn output a little, people.
GUNSTAR HEROINE
Hates obvious Mary Sues, OOCness, and overuse of original characters. Likes: Well-done romance, thoughtful parody.
#1 fanfic peeve: Altering a character's most basic personality for the sake of your fic. If you're going to use a personality of your own creation, write original fiction, please...
GUEST REVIEWS
Reviews by people who aren't ficbitches.

INFO FOR MEMBERS

If it's not there, please add your name and short bio to the side, and remember to use it.

Remember to put the series name and then the fic title; also remember to archive before writing a review. Archive format is SERIES :: FIC TITLE. (Name the html file whatever you want as long as it's pretty unique.) This will insure that the site is tidy and sexy.

Sankyu!





WE'VE MOVED!


Our new home is on LiveJournal, so now you can leave comments on your favorite (or least-favorite) reviews! Please hop on over to:

http://www.livejournal.com/~ficbitches/


for your ficbitching needs. All old entries are archived there for your convenience.

Velvet Venus and Rebel Toy did most of the work for this move, so give them a pat on the back.

Or wherever you think would be appropriate.

~ Leather Daddy

02/20/03 ~ It seems like Livejournal is suffering a Distributed Denial of Service Attack. If you are having trouble accessing the site, it's because, well, EVERYONE working with or reading a livejournal is having trouble accessing the site. Things should be hunky-dory again pretty soon... we hope. Have patience, grasshopper! - GH

This slap to the head was administered at 4:33 a.m. on Monday, February 17, 2003.